| Steve Myers
|20. Your fellow citizens might not agree that farts are funny, but they will
defend to the death a magazine full of jokes about them.
19. We have the best Mexican food.and many of the best Mexicans!
17. All superheroes, from Superman to Mighty Mouse to the Thing, are on our
16. No other chant at the Olympics has quite the cachet of "U.S.A.! U.S.A.!"
15. The Mob's already sent a crew to Afghanistan to hand out beatings
14. The Sears Tower, Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, and Pizza
Hut, to name a few.
13. Our presidents think with their heads.
12. Jack Daniel's makes barbecue sauce.
11. California girls.
10. We don't even need a 10th reason.
9. Real-life video game: 800,000 miles of highway and 55,000 state troopers.
8. Arena rock.
7. While every other country's gene pools dwindle and stagnate, ours
continue to thrive.
6. Regardless of your social class, if someone shouts "Tastes great!" you
can reply "Less filling!"
5. After decking Britain, Germany, Japan, and Russia, we helped 'em back up.
4. Our GIs assist in alleviating female unemployment wherever they go.
3. We don't need any other countries to have a World Series. And we always
2. Scott Baio is a millionaire. (Need any more proof that this is the land
1. $329 billion annual military budget.
Here's a few some members have added:
We give away Quality college educations to more people than all other
We invent more things than all other nations combined.
We have the best healthcare.
Our women can marry at 14, drive at 16, strip for money, own guns, be
commercial pilots, and vote at 18. At 21 we even let them buy booze.
We aid more nations and feed more people than all other nations combined.
We have more acres of land in the hands of private citizens than all other
We have more legal civilian gun owners than all other nations combined.
We give more total money to charity than any other nation.
Every religion is legal here.
Any person can make her own movie and become rich. Same goes for writing a
book. Tell that to Salman Rushdie the next time he visits Iran.
We've got the most powerful military in the history of the world, yet our
private, armed citizens outnumber our military by 80 to 1.
We've got more venture capital funds for aspiring entreprenuers than any
other nation has banks.
We've been to the Moon and back.
We've sent the only spacecraft to have ever left our Solar System.
We eradicated Polio and Smallpox throughout the world.
We've paved more roads and built more cars than anyone else.
We've built more airports than anyone else.
We have Freedom of Assembly.
We have limits on our government.
We don't have different rights for different classes of Americans.
Sat Nov 06, 2004 8:23 am